Let's talk about it...but NOT on the phone!

(..well, I sort of am, today - this is cross-posted at TheSmartlyLA.)

One thing I’ve been pleased to discover as I’ve become more active online is that I’m not the only one in the world who doesn’t like using the phone. It’s been a revelation to learn that the “phone phobia” I’ve struggled with for years is more common than I’d known – and definitely more widespread than those who’ve urged me to “just get over it” could imagine. Then again, I’m discovering this via people who seem to share my higher comfort level with written over spoken expression, so maybe I shouldn’t find it so surprising.

I have found caller ID to be a blessing. While I don’t mind receiving calls as much as I mind making them, I do appreciate knowing who’s on the other end of the line before I pick up..or, sometimes, decide not to. (But not when you call!)

But no matter how well I know you, I’d still rather not call you. Please don’t take offense – I don’t even call my family members all that often, and most of my conversation with my son on the East Coast happens via IM. I’ve always had a fear – which I don’t think is entirely irrational – that people I haven’t been in touch with for awhile will have forgotten me. Rather than be pleasantly surprised to hear from me, they’ll be politely noncommittal while racking their brains to place me…or they’ll be more honest about it: “Sorry, but how do we know each other again? And how did you get my number?” That’s why if I’m reconnecting with someone, I’d rather do it via e-mail (or even Facebook). I think it’s significantly less awkward; at least I don’t have to witness the other person’s efforts to recognize me, and they don’t have to hear me fumbling over my words (which I write better than I speak). But if they’d rather call me back instead of e-mailing, I’ll be glad to give them my number and let them initiate that.

And if I don’t know you, or it’s for personal business? Businesses that have online customer service, particularly appointment setting, will get a high customer-satisfaction score from me. If I can do business with you without having to talk to you on the phone, that’s better for both of us.

I wasn’t always so phone-averse, but I always did prefer receiving the calls to making them, even as a teenager. But between my sister and me at that age, back in those days before call waiting, my parents did have to get a second phone line so people could actually get in touch with them. My son was in high school ten years ago, and he tied up the phone line too…with our dial-up modem. I think his was the first generation to use technologies like instant messaging instead of phoning, as well as to be reachable directly on their own cell phones. My 16-year-old stepdaughter rarely talks on out home phone – or her cell phone, for that matter. Phones are for texting; the only people who use them to talk are parents.

Unless the parent is me, that is. I’m not phoning it in if I can help it.

Are you phone-averse too? Write and tell me about it! You may also be interested in this post from The Introvert's Corner about "hanging up" the phone.